It’s stunning how ineffective, and yet filthy-stinking rich, large corporations are. Over time they amass an army of dim-wits with little motivation to work, and even less intelligence to accomplish something if motivated.

MrLittlePants recently questioned Continental’s lavatory policy. Yes, I know. You’re not allowed to use the rich people’s bathroom. But it’s not clear how much our government overloads are to blame for this supposed “security” policy, and how much is plain ol’ corporate-sponsored class warfare. Anyway who cares? We don’t, usually.

But on our return flight from Berlin the one lavatory in the front of coach was “out of order.” (Gross.) A drink cart blocked access to the rear lavatories, so Leland calmly went to the front to do his business. A member of the cabin crew was just then entering the first class lavatory, and said Leland could use it when he was “done.” But as soon as he disappeared into that little room, a nearby stewardess overruled the nice guy and sent Leland back to po’ folks land. (Is anyone in the cabin crew below flight attendants in the chain of command? Are cater waiters even below them?)

So the question is, why did one employee say “yes” and the other “no, back to the dungeon!” And is this nonsense government mandated, for our blessed security, or is it a crude reward for first class bucks?

This is Continental’s answer, which I have tried to tidy a bit:

Dear Mr. Leland: [ed: that’s his first name, Rosebud]

Thank you for contacting us about your recent flight experience [ed: thank me by punctuating] I regret the service in the (MAIN CLASS) cabin [ed: a person wrote this?] aboard your Continental operated flight was not what you expected and appreciate your bringing this matter to our attention. Business Class lavaratories lavatories are designated for our First class Class passengers. [ed: business / first – which is it?] Your comments will be reviewed by Continental Airlines Operations Team who will communicate the information directly to that departments department’s management [ed: no one is believing this, period ] We appreciate your email [ed: uh huh] and look forward to serving your travel needs in the future. [ed: sheesh]

Donna Blythe
Customer Service Manager
TRACKING NUMBER: A00001995812-00011561071

I guess periods aren’t such a big deal in this era of MySpace. And you need to have an IQ of at least a hundred to really get the whole apostrophe thing, so we’ll let that slide. But “lavaratories” ? I don’t even work in the biz, and I’m a bad speller, but that smells bad.

Obviously, this is a form letter. So hundreds of people have probably been told that certain “lavaratories are designated for our First class passengers.”

Thanks for clearing that up, Donna!