From Anti-Gay Slurs: The Latest in Hilarity:

In “The Little Dog Laughed,” Douglas Carter Beane’s Hollywood satire at the Cort Theater, the central character … uses the following terms, among others, to refer to her client, a closeted gay movie actor: “that pansy,” “Mary” and “Miss Nancy,” “little fairy Tinkerbell” and “little fruit.” Coining her own variation on derogation, she calls another character “St. Francis of the Sissies.”

… virtually every one of those lines got a laugh. As they were meant to. For the character’s noxious vocabulary isn’t meant to mark her as a bigot. The epithets, generally employed in acerbic monologues addressed to the audience, are meant to establish her as a funny gal, if maybe a little soulless. It seems for most people they do.

Yes. I too am sick not-funny gay jokes.

When I was bored / offended at The Producers, I pondered what the difference was between in-jokes and slurs. Simpletons complain that only blacks are allowed to make black jokes, and only gays gay jokes, but that’s not it at all. What makes a joke distasteful is its reliance on crude stereotypes.

Anything that can be tied to a social group will involve stereotypes, but only if those stereotypes are subtle, clever, and accurate will they be amusing to an insider. Conversely, a “good” gay or racial joke will never be amusing or even comprehensible to the i-bankers sitting stone-faced in the corner. Inviting them (or rather their money) to the party is how you end up with tutu-wearing men who leap across the stage.

On the other hand, if dumb gay jokes are the price of not being tied to a stake and burned alive, then [shrill voice] tell me where to thiiiiiign!