Okay, T-bone, time for some serious crunchingOkay, T-bone, time for some serious crunching

If you haven’t seen it yet and you have twelve minutes to kill, you may as well watch this promotional video for “Windows 386” (a.k.a. Windows 2.0, released in 1987).

The video upload’s description hypes the “crack-smoking monkeys” that take over the production at minute seven. Firstly, Doctor Barnett is not comfortable with that metaphor. Secondly, if you can’t relate to the whitey-white rap that Linda breaks into, or her fabulous outfit, you obviously weren’t forced to watch the anti-drug video Straight Up in fifth grade. (Please, someone upload its Gimme dat headband number to YouTube immediately.)

Skipping the first half of Windows 386 would cause you to miss the character development (performed with subtlety by Victoria Carver) that makes Linda’s transition into a street-rapping, teal-cloaked hooker so dramatic. So don’t. Also, you might not understand the rap’s references to “multi-tasking” without Linda’s earlier offhanded explanation.

Hooker-Linda is totally giving William head from under the table while her charts are printing.

Backtalk

Is it just me, or does the receptionist go from southern to Cindi Lauper within approximately 2 phone calls?

OMG I was just saying the same thing to MrLittlePants when we watched it together! She’s southern and then like Long Island or something. We should log this under “goofs” on IMDB, just as soon as they add it to the database. That, and, I want to see her put those red high-tops on; them appearing on her feet in the next camera angle doesn’t do them justice.

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