Our President, responding to the unwarranted wiretapping decision:

I would say that those who herald this decision simply do not understand the nature of the world in which we live.

It is so hard to understand, the nature of the world in which we live. We need our government to protect us from this nature of which we are uncomprehending, in ways of which we are unaware. Which. Of. Of which.

We believe, strongly believe, it’s constitutional.

I don’t believe that the smarter, cynical majority of the administration believes it’s constitutional. Perhaps the President believes it’s constitutional, in his childlike way, and has adopted the royal “we” (big surprise).

And if Al Qaeda is calling into the United States, we want to know why they’re calling.

Did his speechwriters pen this one just so they could hear their words on late night talk shows?

We’re going to do everything we can do in the courts to allow this program to continue [because it] has been effective in protecting America.

And there we have the boundless argument permitting anything that the government asserts discourages terrorism.

You might remember last week, working with people in Great Britain, we disrupted a plot.

Good one!

It’s hard to stay optimistic around these “realists.” Either you believe their fear-mongering and live in terror, or you don’t but you know that they (or people like them) will turn the world into surveillance-hell over the next few decades. It’s cry-inducing, they might say.

But instead of crying let’s look at this hilarious take on how some people read the Times. Laugh, and try to enjoy the freedoms you still have.